My Little Blue Pills

Posted by Me Thu, 16 Feb 2006 23:59:00 GMT

And no, I am not talking about those “infamous blue pills”. The little blue pills I am referring to are my Estrace Pills (Estrogen Pills). Technically, they are more of a lavender. That’s neither here nor there! The main point I was trying to get to is that I started taking them today! Woohoo! More meds to add to my regiment. LOML keeps asking me if I feel any different. So far so good. I am not any more emotional than I am already. I have been too busy with work to be tired so I can’t really tell you. Ask me again in a week. :) I am sure by then they’ll have made an impact into my emotional fragile being.

I swear the emotional rollercoaster is the hardest thing about this whole IVF thing. I have been off the Progesterone Pills for a week now and I am feeling semi-normal again! Phew!!! Of course, that feeling will be short-lived since I’ll be on the Progesterone Oil Injections in no time. The Progesterone really affects me strongly. I get so depressed and am an emotional wreck. I jump from being intensely angry to uncontrollably sad in a matter of seconds. (Okay, maybe it’s more like in a matter of minutes – but again details. Details! Who really cares?)

Anyways, I should be working. Too much to do. Too little time. I have a meeting in a little bit. My third one today. Wooohoo! I can’t wait. While I wait, I figured I’d write a quick little post about what’s going on. As you can tell, not much. I am listening to my boy, Jason Mraz. LOVE HIM! Such an awesome voice and the fact that he is easy on the eyes sure doesn’t hurt! ;) I felt bad though earlier to read on his Website that he and his girlfriend, singer/songwriter, Tristan Prettyman seem to have broken up. Too bad. I thought they were really cute together. She’s really great too! Lovely voice and pretty to boot! Being on emotional overload anyways these days, I was saddened to hear about their break-up. I am sure all the teeny boppers out there are happy though and they can once again resume their fantasies to actually end up with him! (or her – whatever rocks your boat!) :)

Celebrity coveting is funny to me. I mean I am like any other girl. I will admit that there are a lot of cute celebs out there and I have spent hours gushing to my best friend about how Ryan Gosling is just so darn cute in the Notebook or how Patrick Dempsey’s smile on Grey’s Anatomy just makes you melt, but even when I was little I was way too rational and realistic to ever believe that I had a chance with any of my celeb crushes. I never understood those girls that had tears streaming down their faces at the mere sight of their celeb crushes in concert. What were they crying about? And even so do they think that a tear-stained face is really the most attractive sight when being face to face with their crush du jour? I guess it’s just all that emotion breaking through. Maybe if I go to a concert while on my cocktail of meds I’ll be one of the criers too! Note to self – avoid all concerts while on Progesterone! I do not want to add that to my list of experiences. Especially, considering I am not always emotional, sometimes I am just steaming mad and really I do not want to assault my celeb crush for any reason at all! That would just be wrong! No, seriously, I think it is cool that some people can feel so strongly about something or someone and let their guard down. I tend to like to control my emotions in public. Privately, I have no problem letting go. I mean just last week I was huddled on the bed crying bitterly for no reason other than I was sad. Sad. So sad. Crying about everything and nothing at all. Damn, that progesterone!!! I hate how it reduces me to an uncontrollable and inconsolable mess. However, if it does the magic trick to get me knocked and stay knocked up, I say bring it on, baby! Give it to me in heaps! I’ll endure my “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” persona if it gets me pregnant and allows me to stay pregnant.

Life is funny and crazy. Crazier when you are on fertility meds, but alas such is life. My goal these days is to take it all in stride. We shall see how I am doing in a few weeks when I am in the thick of it. Yowzers!

Okay, meeting time. Later!