Glorious Day!

Posted by Me Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:02:00 GMT

Today I had my massage. LOML treated me to a massage of my choice to help decompress from the last IVF & miscarriage and to get ready for IVF #3. Instead of my usual swedish massage, I opted to have a Hot Stone Massage. I have wanted to try one before but never got the timing right since I always was in cycles or waiting for news and since Hot Stone Massages involve heat I never wanted to risk it. Well, this time around I got the timing right. Being in-between cycles, I decided to give it a whirl. Boy, I am glad I did. I loved it. It was the most relaxing massage ever. I didn’t really know what to expect but it was most lovely. So soothing. My massage therapist was really great. She knew what she was doing. :) After the mssage, I decided to take in a Steam Bath since the place where I had the massage had a Steam Room and that was really nice too. I had saunas before, but never a Steam Bath. I enjoyed it. It was different. So relaxing. Overall, my day at the Spa was lovely. Just what I needed.

I decided to walk around the nearby shop area after my treatment. It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect. A balmy 78 degrees with a slight breeze and not a cloud in the sky. The shop area was buzzing with people enjoying the nice weather. There was a guy playing the saxophone at a nearby restaurant and music was lulling us all into a nice reverie. Afer treating myself to a Peppermint Hot Chocolate at Starbucks, I sat down on a bench by the water. The shopping area was located by a lake and it was just nice watching the boats on the water with sounds of children laughing in the background. For that moment, I just tried to forget about all the disappointments of the past few months. The anxiety and nervousness for the next month or so. I just tried take the moment for what it was. I tried to enjoy the perfect weather, the music, the water…all of it. It’s been a long time since I had felt that content.

Today I was able to just stop. I have been going so fast and so hard these past few weeks. It was lovely to just take a day. One morning and just be. Let things wash over me. Let my mind relinquish thoughts of my inability to conceive—have a child. I didn’t realize how much of my life I had given up for this Infertility Path. Infertility has been all-consuming. It schedules your life. Where you have to be. What you have to do. What you can and cannot do and it can be exhausting. However, since I have been going and going like the Energizer Bunny, it was nice to take a moment and forget about it all. No schedules. No meds. No impending tests. Today I was able to just observe and be still. Those moments are few and far between.

Anyways, it was a truly a lovely morning. A morning I needed more than I realize. I ended it by stopping by a toy store and picking up some gifts for our nephew & niece for Easter. Since I don’t have kids of my own to shop for, I feel the need to treat them. See their happy faces and feel their arms wrapped tightly around me—it makes me smile. So who can blame me for spoiling them a little? Isn’t that part of being an Aunt?

LOML was really sweet and let me have this day. I didn’t work. I didn’t do chores. Today was a special day and I am grateful for it. I know tomorrow everything starts up again and I will deal with whatever happens…but for today I will relish this glorious day!