Posted by Me
Fri, 09 Jun 2006 19:24:00 GMT
... 2 Babies! Yes, I had my ultrasound today and per Bekah’s request I am taking a longer lunch break to get a quick post up to update you all. :)
So, yes, ladies and gentlemen, when Dr. BT did the ultrasound the morning we saw 2 sacs! 2!!! At first, he saw 3 and said so and I was like “What?” LOML looked like he was a deer caught in headlights. I mean 3!
We were expecting to see Baby G just grown etc with a heartbeat instead imagine our surprise when we saw 2 (possible 3!) sacs. Dr. BT looked at the chart and spent a long time measuring things on the screen to make sure there were indeed 3. In the end, he said the second sac was pinched but there was only one yolk sac in there and one heartbeat. Phew!!! Twins is a shock after only expecting a singleton but triplets – yowzers I don’t know I was about to freak a little – LOML might have passed out! JK ;) He’d be fine – but said later he was thinking we don’t have enough arms to hold them all! 2 was feasible!
Dr. BT spent some time measuring and evaluating Baby A (now that we may have 2 in there we will have to change “Baby G” to “Baby A” & “Baby B”). So, anyways Baby A is measuring at around 8mm (or about a third of an inch) with a heartbeat going at a rate of 122 bpm. Is that good? I don’t know what they are supposed to be at. I am 6w5d. Dr. BT said that that was good and Baby A was measuring and progressing right on target so I’ll put my skeptical nature to the side for now and trust him. I googled heart rates a bit and it came up with 137 for 6 weeks – is that right? Ok, going to stop now! Dr. BT said Baby A was good so we’re going to go with that. Baby A is definitely bigger than Baby B. The yolk sac was very distinguishable and the heartbeat was flickering away. Dr BT said there was a fetal pole though honestly I couldn’t see it.
Baby B is slightly smaller. About 4 days behind in development. I don’t remember the length but the heart rate was a slow 97 bpm. He said that was to be expected though since Baby B seems to be 4 days behind and probably was a late implanter. Hopefully, he or she will catch up by the next ultrasound which is scheduled for 6/20.
So, we are in a bit of shock over here. I mean we thought we were evaluating a singleton’s progression – instead we discovered we may be having twins if Baby B can hang on. Only time will tell I guess. We are psyched though to have made it to another step. We never made it this far before so I am grateful. I hope we continue to get good news in a week and half and Baby A & Baby B decide to stick around and let us be their parents.
For today, I am going to stop perusing the Internet Boards and just enjoy the news we got. As of right now, I am expecting twins! OMG! I am in shock! A good kind of shock but still it’s hard to believe! Thanks for everyone’s well wishes and I’ll write more once all of this has sunk in! :)
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Posted by Me
Thu, 08 Jun 2006 02:09:00 GMT
So, I am getting slightly freaked about Friday’s Appointment. The Dr Office called me today and let me know my ultrasound had to be postponed until 11:15am due to a Retrieval they needed to squeeze in before. It’s fine. It’ll be ok.
I am getting really nervous about it. The damn “What If’s?” are finding themselves into my head and I know it is not good. I know I have no reason to believe that things aren’t progressing – well, except for that pesky miscarriage I had where Baby just quit on me. I am just nervous. I am nervous there won’t be a heartbeat or it’ll be too slow or the fetal pole is missing. I don’t know. I am not having any legitimate symptoms. I am on lower progesterone and I am just scared. I know it is natural to be anxious. I just want things to go well. I want to get to the next stage.
I know every pregnancy is different, but it is hard for me to realize that since I am still the same. My defunct body is still the one going through it all and we know it isn’t all that reliable and predictable. I am nervous. I know Friday will come soon enough but I really don’t want it to be over. I don’t want to get bad news. I want all to be well. I want this to be for real. Is that too much to ask? Maybe.
I know we’ll be ok with whatever the results are. I mean we have to be. Please let things progess “normally”. Or at least “normally” for me! Aaaaackk! 2 weeks has been such a freakin’ long time and with no real symptoms you freak out. I mean I get dizzy. My boobs are sore and still have some cramping but I figure it’s all caused by my meds. Weeks go by so slowly when you are so unsure about things. I don’t want to get too attached. I don’t want to look at baby sites. I haven’t bought any “expecting” books since I feel it is too early. I know I am a freak, but I just don’t want to jinx anything.
Friday is the ultrasound. Friday is also my Mom’s Birthday. I hope it is a good news day and we have a nice “present” to give to her – the news of her first grandchild. If not, we’ll deal I presume.
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Posted by Me
Tue, 06 Jun 2006 02:41:00 GMT
The weekend went by pretty uneventful which I am very happy about. With my IVF experience, I welcome quiet/simple days. I worked some. Read some. And got a handle on some household chores.
Nothing new to report. All the meds I am on are making me tired and nauseated. I don’t think it is morning sickness since really it is just some queasiness and we all know progesterone can cause a lot of that. Also, I think it is a bit early for m/s to kick in especially since right now all my hormones are created by the supplements I take. My body isn’t producing any on its own. In any case, I stocked up on some crackers and will nibble to keep some of the queasiness at bay. I figure it will subside a bit in the next few days since I am taking a break from the injections. I will still be on progesterone pills and suppositories so hopefully my levels won’t drop so drastically and jeopardize this pregnancy. I am getting to the point where the shots have formed lumps on my hips which make the dispersement of the oil harder. Dr. BT warned us about it so we knew it was coming. I have my BIG GIANT appointment on Friday where I get wanded and hopefully get to see a heartbeat, fetal pole, and all things measuring right on target! I have NEVER EVER in my life gotten to this point so I can’t even imagine. I can’t even really think about it all. I keep praying that we have something amazing (amazing good!) to see on Friday. I know – no guarantees! Just praying for a miracle!
I still experience some restless sleeps since my dreams are all weird – I think they are stress dreams. They aren’t wholly restful so that certainly doesn’t help. It makes trying to stay productive durng the day a bit harder. The only good thing though is that I am too tired to be in a constant state of worry. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments since let’s face it I won’t stop until we are well past the first trimester and I can feel Baby G kick on a consistent basis making his or her presence known. However, being so tired and nauseated, I don’t have the energy to worry 24/7. I am sure I’ll lose my nerves as Friday approaches and I get off some of the crazy high progesterone levels and get some of my brain back.
In any case, I am hanging in there. “Enjoying” this time of still being pregnant – well to the best of my knowledge I am. I am still cramping but I think again that’s related to the progesterone levels. I am sure some of these side effects will dissipitate once I am off the injections and probably my mind will freak out that I am not feeling “something”. ;) I am a freak. I admit it. I wish I was one of those people that could just relax and believe all is well – I waffle. I get nervous and I suddently find myself filing through all the scenarios it could go. Usually the bad ones! Goodness! Why is that? I don’t know – part of me unfortunately has been burned by the IVF stuff to expect things to not always go smoothly for me when it comes fertility/pregnancy etc. Disappointment unfortunately has happened more often than not. It’s a luxury that has left me – at least I can take comfort in that I am not the only one who feels that nervousness and that skepticism. I know the statistics. I know what can happen. With one miscarriage under my belt, I know the odds. I hope I end up on the other side and I know all I can do is stay calm and see what happens. :) So, that’s what I am going to do or at least try. :) Happy to be where I am at and praying that I keep going. Going until I get to hold Baby G in my arms – healthy – happy Baby G.
Goodness, I hope we get some good news on Friday!!!! I hope my prog levels can handle the reduction and all is well. I need this embryo to be a good one! A “normal” one. Healthy. Only time will tell.
Thanks for all the congrats and best wishes! I appreciate them so much! :) Thanks for putting up with my neurotic self. I do hope that eventually I can calm down and really enjoy this journey. Until then I’ll do my best and hang in there! :) Take care of myself. Pat my belly and nibble on crackers. :)
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Posted by Me
Sat, 03 Jun 2006 03:02:00 GMT
I had my blood test today and was a nervous wreck all day. I mean today I am 5w5d and apparently still pregnant. :) The Nurse called in the afternoon and gave me my medical instructions and said all my levels looked great. hCg = 32,039 / Progesterone = 53 / Estrogen = 610. Next up = Ultrasound & Blood Test on 6/9 (a week away). Hopefully, we get to see a heartbeat then!
In any case, I am glad to have made it one day past my last cycle. Last cycle we got the bad call at 5w4d. That’s when my levels dropped and I was to expect my period! :( I am one day past it today – which doesn’t mean that we are out of the woods yet – not at all! I won’t breathe a sigh of relief until I am past the first trimester mark & and ultimately when Baby G is born and in my arms healthy and happy.
It is all about the steps. We made it through one more step. The next one is the second U/S and hopefully (HOPEFULLY) we get to see the healthy heartbeat of Baby G.
So, I am sure the week is going to go by really slowly and I’ll have my freak-outs but for tonight I am grateful to have gotten the good news. I am going to shelf my worrying nature for at least tonight and relish in the fact that Baby G is hanging on! We shall see how we do next week. :)
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Posted by Me
Thu, 01 Jun 2006 01:44:00 GMT
So, this has been a slightly rough week thus far. Work has been unbelievably busy. Too many things to do and no time to do it…or that’s how it feels like. It doesn’t help that the higher levels of progesterone turn my brain into mush. I get so dizzy at times and nauseated that it doesn’t help. I also continue to be the clumsiest person – dropping things whenever I get a chance. It’s very annoying! I also haven’t really slept all that well. I am rather tired when I go to bed (barely making it past 10:30pm) but then am up in like 2-4 hours cuz either I have to pee or I just quit sleeping. I try to go back to sleep but I can’t. It’s not deep sleep. Insomnia stinks. I am not sure if that is medicine-related…I figure most of what I am feeling is related to the elevated levels of progesterone and estrogen.
In general, I have been feeling rather overwhelmed with everything. I am trying to be better about Friday since really I can’t do anything. I can’t “prepare” myself. It is either good news or it isn’t. For now, I am going to do my best to “enjoy” being pregnant cuz if I am not I’ll have plenty of time to deal with that. So, I am faithfully taking all my meds though it’s getting tough to swallow all those pills. Blech! I don’t like taking oral meds in the first place, but with the amount I am taking it gets tough sometimes. I also keep telling myself that this is a different cycle – the results from last do not necessarily set up a pattern. I can’t base my past experiences as a means to predict the future. Essentially, I have to believe that I was able to produce a good embryo that will turn into a healthy baby and at the chance that it doesn’t, I’ll have to believe that I’ll be ok.
I keep praying that Baby G is hanging in there. Getting settled. Sticking around for the long run. Though the wait and “not knowing” is killing me, it’s ok – being “not pregnant” is so permanent for a while there and unfortunately a state I am all too familiar with – “being pregnant” thus far has been a fleeting experience and I’ll take this current state that’s filled with so many possibilities over the other one any day. I still get insecure. It’s hard when you don’t really have any symptoms other than what the meds give you – you constantly wonder if “it” is still in there – growing, ya’ know? Part of me wishes I didn’t miscarry before – I might not be as insecure as I am – oh hell, I might still be. Who knows? When it takes you too long to get pregnant and involves very invasive procedures, you can’t really believe it when it happens or not worry that somethine won’t go terribly wrong! I looked through the IVF boards and apparently my feelings are pretty much the same! Ulgh! It’s a pain!
It’s ok though! Hanging in there. I will find out soon enough. I hope it continues to progress and I get to pass more steps and milestones. :)
In the meantime, I’ll try to figure out how to manage work and my super-hormone-induced state to still remain productive. I feel so out-of-it most of the time it’s hard. I don’t want to deal with any of it, but know I have to. These last 2 weeks have been rough. My emotions are all over the place. I hope we are still in the game! God, I hope we are still in the game! :)
All righty, back to some work! The fun just never stops! :)
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