Posted by Me
Sun, 26 Nov 2006 02:53:00 GMT
I’ll be 31 Weeks tomorrow. :) I can’t believe I am already in the 3rd Trimester. My due date of 1/28/07 doesn’t seem too far off. Yowzers!
I am certainly starting to feel the effects of Jack’s size in my belly. Finding a comfortable position to sleep in is getting a bit tougher but I do enjoy feeling him kick throughout the day & night. As of late, he’s been having more hiccups which according to Dr. H is a good sign. He likes to hear that the baby has hiccups – apparently a sign of a healthy baby. I hope that’s true! :) Speaking of Dr. H we had an appointment with him last Wednesday and everything checked out. Jack’s heartbeat came in around 140 and my fundal length was measuring at 30-31 weeks – so right on target. Since we didn’t do the whole Pam Smear/Culture checkup in the beginning I had the pleasure of doing it at the last appointment. Boy, are those fun. I hadn’t had anyone “down there” since my Dr. Bow Tie days! :)
Anyways, overall the appointment went well. I see him in 2 weeks again since now we are on the every other week schedule. Once we are in January, I’ll switch over to the once a week schedule. Yay!
This coming Wednesday we have our first “meet & greet” with a potential Pediatrician. We asked Dr. H for more recommendations since the last one he recommended unfortunately didn’t take our insurance. I’ll be making a few more “meet & greet” appointments and hopefully we can settle on a good one before Jack makes his appearance.
In other news, I saw my parents, my sis and her fiance, and a slew of relatives from my mom’s side a week ago. I had the first of 2 Baby Showers and it was a lot of fun. In lieu of actual gifts, a lot of my relatives gave us some checks to help with the preparation of baby’s arrival. Every little bit helps and LOML and I certainly appreciated everyone’s kindness. My parents were generous enough to give us a stroller that comes with the Car Seat so that’s pretty cool. We haven’t installed it yet in the car – one of the many things on our “To Do” List. I have another Baby Shower on LOML’s side this coming Saturday (12/2) so that should be fun. It was great to see family and getting pampered for a while with good food. I’ll see them next in a couple of months when Jack is due to arrive.
Thanksgiving we spent with LOML’s parents and it was really nice. We opted to go out to eat instead of slaving over a hot stove. It worked out really well. The place they picked out offered a really yummy Turkey dinner and the great thing was we didn’t have to clean up. :) Stress-free Thanksgiving works for me!
Other than that, I have been busy working and finishing up our Christmas shopping. I am pretty much done. I try to do most of it via the Internet since I absolutely hate the crowds at the mall/stores. Gotta’ love the Internet! :) I have a few more things to finish up but overall that should be pretty set. Yay! I am waiting for the things to arrive so I can wrap them and be done. Ahh – I can’t wait!
Despite everything going on – you’d think I’d be distracted enough, I still have my moments of anxiety. I don’t think it ever goes away. I still get some scary dreams (on the off chance when I actually do manage to get some shuteye!) which aren’t so pleasant. Jack tries to reassure me though by offering up a swift kick so it makes it all a little better.
I do have to admit that I am getting more nervous about the last few months as the reality sets in that eventually he has to come out. Also, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry that something could go wrong. The Childbirth classes were pretty informative but also admittedly a tad intimidating. I am so grateful for every week I pass and continue to pray that all goes well and that Jack arrives without any complications. My biggest worry is and will forever be his welfare. I will endure anything as long as he is safe and healthy.
All righty, I am going to take it easy for the rest of the evening – take a shower and have a snack. The last few weeks have been really busy with family gatherings, work, and preparations for both baby and X-mas. I can’t imagine that the next few weeks/months will be any different. Days are just whizzing by at a speed that’s hard to comprehend.
I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving and managed to enjoy some good family/friend time.
Posted in Dr. Bow Tie, 'Tis The Season, Everyday Livin', Relating, Friends, Baby G, Dr. H | 1 comment | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Tue, 15 Aug 2006 22:34:00 GMT
Yup – I am currently 16w2d and have been meaning to update my blog for eons. However, my days have been crazy busy with work and by the time I have some free time I am so tired all I want to do is crash.
To your question, Bekah, morning sickness is not completely gone, but seemingly has gotten better. I no longer throw up consistently. I still get the queasiness and difficulty finding things that are appetizing to eat, but at least I am no longer throwing up so I guess things are getting better. :) I am still waiting for that day my SIL told me about where I wake up and feel great. It hasn’t happened yet. Yesterday, I woke up and was so tired even though I got a good night’s rest. I was also sore and achey – I think I was way more active this past weekend than in the past. I am better today…at least my eyes aren’t drooping. I have a headache, but other than that am doing all right.
Baby G is taking up more room. Though I don’t think I look pregnant yet (just look like I got a serious beer gut), I have started to wear more maternity shorts to be more comfortable. I think it is starting to pop out more and up and hence give me more of the “pregnant” look rather than I just can’t control eating. ;)
We had our OB/GYN appointment a couple of Mondays ago. All was well. Measuring right on target. Despite all the crazy nausea in the first trimester, I managed to gain 6lbs! 6lbs!!! The nurse told me “Good job!” ;) Dr. H was as nice as always and answered all our questions. We listened to the heartbeat (a nice 156 bpm) and then ushered me to have 8 vials of blood taken for the prenatal check-up and the Triple Marker Screening test. Overall, the appointment was uneventful – which given my history – I gladly welcome. :)
This Thursday LOML and I are driving out to LA for my cousin’s debutante ball (fancy 18th birthday party). My parents are flying out from FL so it’ll be nice to spend some time with them. I also plan to see my Best Friend while we are out there. I pray that whatever lasting nausea I have gives me a break while I am out there. Though I miss food – eating freely, it’s all good as long as Baby G is healthy and happy and hangs out until January of next year. Nothing is more important than that! :)
We go back to Dr. H’s Sept 7th for the big ultrasound. Hopefully, Baby G will cooperate and we’ll be able to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. We’ll be happy with either as long as s/he is healthy. My Mom and I both have a feeling that it’s a girl. I don’t know…just an instinct I guess. :)
I still have my handy dandy Doppler and been occasionally listening to Baby G’s heart. So far so good. Dr. H said we could use it twice a day. I don’t use it that often but it is nice to have it. I haven’t felt Baby G yet, but I think it is still too early. I can’t wait til s/he kicks and it’ll all feel more real.
On a different note, LOML and I have booked our long overdue vacation for October. We thought we could both use one given all the IVF stuff. We will be heading to Hawaii for a nice 2 week vacation at the beginning of October. Dr H. thought it was a great idea and said he didn’t see any issues traveling during that time. It’ll be nice to get away for a bit and relax before Baby G arrives. :)
Other than that, life is going on as normal. Work has been insanely busy. I am going to tell work folks this week that we are expecting. It’s all a bit weird “coming out” to people. I still get worried, but am also excited. I cherish the journey we are on right now and feel grateful for every step we get to take and accomplish.
I hope the morning sickness goes away completely soon and I get my energy back – not to mention better appetite. After the LA trip, I hope to take some prenatal yoga classes at the hospital provided I feel better. I need to incorporate some exercise back into my life. We’ll see how things go. :)
I hope everyone is doing well out there in the vast Internet world! :)
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Everyday Livin', Relating, Friends, Baby G, Dr. H | 2 comments | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Tue, 18 Jul 2006 13:56:00 GMT
I know I have been horribly neglectful of my blog these days. Let me assure that it hasn’t been deliberate. I have been wanting to post more regularly, but alas the first trimester has been pretty rough on me. However, the news I guess is that I seem to have made it to the coveted 12 weeks. I’d like to say that I magically woke up and all nausea and feelings of throwing up left me as soon as I reached 12 weeks but not so. It’s still up in the air. Some days go ok – some days don’t. I don’t feel like I am at 100% and I am not sure if it is all in my head or still some crazy hormone mixture coursing through my body. :) Either way, it’s ok. I did say I’d do anything and everything to ensure that Baby G is well and if this makes him/her stick around for the long haul so be it. :)
I still have my freak-out moments though because of the general crappy feeling all-around they have been kept at bay. Really don’t have much time or energy to freak out. Our next appointment with Dr. H is still 3 weeks away! Yowsers! And of course I have my moments hoping all is still well. :) I decided not to rent or purchase a doppler for the time-being. I know it would just make me obsess and if I can’t find the heartbeat I’d be in a frenzy so for the time-being I am just trying to trust all is well. :) We’ll see how that goes.
Vegas has been insanely hot which hasn’t helped. I have been pretty much staying in and sending LOML out. When I do venture out, it’s for short trips since the heat (114-117 degrees) is just too much to bare…besides all the crazy smells out in the outside world is just a little much for my still sensitive stomache.
Fatigue hasn’t been too bad though I do end up going to bed so gosh darn early (8-ish). I end up going to bed then cuz usually I end up feeling crappier at night so it’s just easier to fall asleep and sleep remnant nausea off. :) It’s all gotten to be routine I guess.
I switched from my regular Prenatal Vitamin to some Flintstone ones per Dr. H’s recommendation. He said they would do the trick and probably would be easier to digest than my regular ones. He’s right so far they’ve been going down a lot better so yay! I am still not too keen on my nutitional intake. I still feel limited by what I can eat and am hoping that Baby G gets the proper nutrition. I hope to eventually feel that second trimester kick in and start being able to eat more comfortably. Ahh, I do miss food. I miss eating and enjoying it.
So, we are doing all right over here. Taking each day as it comes. I have ordered some Pregnancy Books finally from Amazon though at first I was hesitant – me superstitious and worried and all, but this past weekend I bit the bullet and went for it. They should arrive sometime this week and then I’ll be able to find out more about what’s happening right now with Baby G.
We’ve also told our respective families and close friends that we are expecting and everyone is very excited and happy. They are cautious since they know our history but everyone has been very supportive which has been great. It was wonderful to share the news. I haven’t told my clients yet and don’t know when the right time would be. I figured I’d wait until I am more entrenched in the second trimester and had my other appointment with Dr. H. (3 more weeks!!!)
Anyways, just wanted to take a quick moment and stick my head out and say I am still here and so is Baby G (at least I hope!) ;) We’re hanging in there and hope that the next few weeks bring us more good news. I hope everyone is well. Thank you so much for the “Congratulations” from my last post. I meant to post my gratitude sooner but Baby G had different plans. :)
Bekah, have you had your u/s yet? How are you feeling??? I hope all is well with your little bean! Keeping my fingers crossed it’s a girl! I know that’s what you want! :) Please let me know how you are doing!
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Everyday Livin', Relating, Friends, Baby G, Dr. H | 3 comments | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Mon, 22 May 2006 03:08:00 GMT
So we are back from out mini-trip to LA. It was a whole lot of fun. :) It was so great to see my friend and attend her party. The sitcom is wonderful. So funny. Go check it out tomorrow on Nontourage. It is really great.
The party was awesome and I am just really glad I was able to attend and watch my best friend of 16 years go after her dream. :) I am so proud of her!
Overall, the weekened was fun. LOML and I got to spend a lot of time with her folks and meet all of her friends. I wish we lived closer so we could do this more often. The weather was a little yucky – warm but rather overcast. Our hotel was really lovely and LA is a fun town. Not sure I could live there, but it’s fun to visit.
I wish I could say that the trip was able to completely distract from tomorrow’s impending test. It sort of did, but then not really. The meds got the better of me. I had a mini-breakdown Friday morning where I just dissolved into tears and so afraid that we’ll get another negative tomorrow. LOML tried to calm me down as best as he could. As usual, I feel nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. I have had some “period” cramps that freak me out today and a few days ago. I even had a horrible dream one of the nights in LA where I dreamt that I got my period early and tried to call Dr. BT to see what’s going on. At first, I couldn’t get a hold of him but then he called me back and confirmed my fears. He followed it up by telling me “I told you so!” :( The dream upset me so much since it felt so freakin’ real. I know I don’t know anything and I wish the meds would make me more positive rather than so freakin’ negative and depressed. I am sooooooooo nervous about tomorrow. I am scared. I am scared to hear the bad words. I don’t want to think negatively but am afraid to be overly positive. Does that make sense? I am super-nervous cuz I find out the results a day before I turn the big 3-0! I mean it would be a tough b-day as it is, but coming at the heels of potentially bad news I am a little out-of-sorts!
Damn it! I thought I’d be ok this time. I thought I’d keep my cool. I thought I’d feel more positive, but as with the others I am scared. I want this to work. I want these embies to be my babies. I want to move on to the next stage. I want there to be a happy ending. However, I am realistic. I know my life isn’t a movie or TV show. Life doesn’t always work out how you want to. It’s messy. It’s unfair and I know that. Things can go well tomorrow but they can go very badly and I have to deal either way, right? I know I can’t change anything at this point. These last few hours – even the past few days in LA – mean nothing. The results have already been determined. Either my little would-be babies are there or they aren’t. God, I hope so much they are but pray that I have to strength to endure the bad news if they aren’t.
Ulllghhh – this sucks! I am trying not to analyze myself, but I do anyways. I am crampy on and off – and not the pulling/tugging sensation but the “period” kind. The ones that hurt like a bitch. My boobs aren’t as big as they were last time or as sore. They are sore but not as crazy sore as they were the last time. I know all this means potentially nothing – but anyone who is infertile knows how hard it is not to look for signs. To figure things out. To not be blind-sighted. To somehow control things – conduct some damage control before the flood gates opens.
It’s just all so weird. I start this cycle impatient to move from one step to the next. The pregnancy test being the ultimate culmination of this journey. However, now that it is upon me, I am dreading it. I am dreading knowing. Finding out. If I could be guaranteed good news, it’d be one thing, but I know the odds. I know what can happen so I know that “knowing” could be end IVF #3.
9 days ago when Dr. BT announced that the transfer was complete – pointing enthusiastically to the U/S screen letting us know where the “gorgeous” embies were deposited – all I could think of now I have “fric n frac” in me. I know ridiculous names, but at the moment that’s what came to me. I couldn’t think of any other cool two combo names. I am a weird chickie! But anyways, I pray, hope, beg that fric n’ frac (despite the ridiculous transition name) are alive and kickin’. I sincerely hope that they decided to stick around (literally) and become our “kids”. I know I can’t will this to happen. I know I can’t control shit, but that doesn’t keep me from trying.
Overall, the trip helped to keep my neurosis at bay. The last few days were tougher since I started to feel the build-up of the meds and they usually make me more psycho than I might otherwise be. I started to blame myself for not going through this cycle perfecty. We skipped a blood test. I took it “bed rest” easy one more day than Dr. BT said. I traveled (rode in a bumpy car). Slept on my side more than I did last time (during bed rest days – Dr. BT said it was ok, but I still worry). Took off my “fertility” necklace earlier than I did last time since it didn’t go with my party outfit. I didn’t consume as much water as I usually do. I walked a ton more than I did during any other cycle. No crazy power walks…more of the strolling/sauntering kind, but still. I got the shots in crazy locations (other peoples’ bathrooms). LOML even had to stick me twice one night since the first time initially drew blood which meant he had to do it again. Also, the first Prog Injection hit a nerve and hence numbed part of my left area. It’s really bizarre. Well, it feels odd. I poke it and it feels like there is some topical anesthetic over the area. Also, though I didn’t skip any dosages, there a few times I was late in taking them. :( Overall, I just feel so many things didn’t go right this cycle. So many things were done less than perfectly. I even had more decaf coffee than I did in the last cycles where I abstained completely. This time I had some decaf coffees and for some reason I am feeling worried.
I know I know – I should have known better and if I worried I shouldn’t have been so lax, but I don’t know. I just did things and am second-guessing myself. I afraid all of the mishaps or less focused approach this time around is going to result in some less than stellar news tomorrow. I am freaked. I admit it. I am irrationally freaked. I can’t help it.
If this doesn’t work, I am not sure where we are going to go from here. We’ll try again most likely but when I am not sure. I want some good news. I need some good news. I need to know there is hope. I need to know that I can and will become a mother someday – and hopefully using my own eggs and LOML’s sperm.
I have dumped enough. I am nervous. When I am nervous, I babble. I irrationally and incessantly babble. I will stop now. Tomorrow will happen and there is nothing I can do. We pray, beg, hope that the news will be good. That I get another go at this. Please keep us in your thoughts. I am trying sincerely to push my insecure thoughts out of my mind. I keep telling myself that there are no such things as signs. That cramping or non-cramping is ok and doesn’t leave me out for the count. My non-super sore boobs aren’t a tell-tale sign and nothing I didn’t do or did do in this cycle will be the cause of what may be revealed tomorrow.
Ullgh, I hope I sleep tonight. I hope I don’t have any more bad dreams. My work day will be insane tomorrow since I am coming off a few days of vacation so that won’t really help. I mean theoretically it should be good to be that distracted, but honestly waiting for the results will be more distracting and agonizing!
BLAH! MUST. CALM. DOWN and hope for the best, right??? Right. Right. If I repeat that to myself a few hundred times, I might actually believe it. :)
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Dr. Bow Tie, Friends | 3 comments | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Sat, 13 May 2006 01:48:00 GMT
If you have some thoughts & prayers to spare, please send them to Cancer Baby’s family.
Jessica, you will be missed!
Posted in Friends | no comments | no trackbacks
