Posted by Me
Sat, 07 Apr 2007 15:32:00 GMT
My little guy is 3 months old today! I can’t believe it. Where has the time gone? :)
I’d like to say that he turned 3 months old and everything magically improved – not quite. He’s better but he’s still got some pooping/gas issues and isn’t quite sleeping through the night. He sleeps in his crib but wakes up every 1 to 2 hours still towards the later hours in the night but at least he feeds for shorter times and manages to go back to sleep after each of them. A lot of the time he wakes up is due to his pooping/gas issue. Hopefully, eventually he’ll kick this pooping/gas issue and be more comfortable at night. Also, he doesn’t like to take consistent naps during the day. I try to put him in the crib and his eyes pop open and he cries. I hope that too improves with time – for now he cat naps throughout the day in his swing, car seat, or when we hold him. Not ideal but we’re working on it.
Other than that he’s absolutely amazing. He smiles, coos, gurgles, babbles all the time. He is so much more alert now and checks everything out. He seems to smile so much more when he sees Mommy or Daddy and it’s great. He is also discovering his hands and it is so funny to watch him get mesmerized by them throughout the day. He’s definitely the star in our lives. We are having so much fun getting know this little guy and watching him discover new things everyday.
I still can’t believe that I am actually a Mom. A Mom! A Mom to this adorable, sweet, alert little boy. I am so grateful for the chance and know that this is a gift – a miracle. He’s growing up so fast – I mean he’s still little – but has changed so much from when we first brought him home.
To see some of his latest pics, go here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mjg2/sets/72157600050610219/
I personally thought LOML took some really great ones of him in his bunny outfit in the bouncy seat. Daddy can always get a smile out of him. The last ones that look more staged where taken at “Portrait Innovations” with his cousins. He did really well but eventually got tuckered out. We got some good ones though of him sitting in his Man Chair though. :)
Well, life is pretty amazing when you get to type up a post while your little boy hangs out on your lap keeping you company. Last year we went to Lake Las Vegas and watched a big Easter Egg Hunt Event take place. We didn’t know that it would take place – we just thought it’d be fun to go out there – it was sweet to see all the kids, but admittedly hard to watch since we were still very much in thick of our infertility journey. This Easter is pretty special. We are going over to my In-Laws for Easter and having lunch. I am sure it’ll be fun. How can it not be when you have this little guy smiling right back at you.
Happy Easter everyone!
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Posted by Me
Wed, 28 Mar 2007 16:22:00 GMT
Today is our anniversary. Three years ago today LOML & I exchanged our vows. :) I can’t believe it’s already been 3 years! We’ve known each other for 9 years total. Dated for 3 years. Engaged for one and as said married for 3 years.
This year however marks another thing – we’ve been parents for almost 3 months now. :) How exciting is that? I still can’t believe it.
Yesterday while I was holding little Jack after his evening feeding I remembered the day a year ago. Though our marriage was strong even then it was a tough day. We had found out a week or so earlier that our fetus stopped growing and Dr. BT told me to expect me to miscarry any day now. Of course, I started to bleed on our anniversary in the most vicious and painful way. I remember we went out to a nice Japanese Dinner and then off to see the Cirque de Soleil Show “Ka” at the MGM. The show was great – our seats right in the center. All was well until about the last half hour when the cramps started to get stronger and stronger. All I could think of was let this show end so I can get out of here. The pain was excruciating – both physically and emotionally. I remember feeling so sad and in some hopeless that my pregnancy was not to be after 5.5 weeks. We had been so thrilled to hear that we got pregnant (finally!) after our second IVF Try. However, it wasn’t meant to be. Our second anniversary was bittersweet. LOML & I tried to make the best of the day knowing that despite everything our commitment to each other was as strong and solid as ever even if infertility was challenging us more than we had ever imagined.
A year ago today was a tough day I won’t deny it. However, fast forward one and I can’t believe how things have changed. This year we are celebrating not just 3 years of marriage but also the presence of our son, Jack! A year ago I spent a sleepless night worried about the fact that we may never have a baby of our own. Bent over in pain while my body was expelling our fetus. This year I still spent the night awake but for very different reasons. This year I was awake to keep Jack company as he was battling some annoying gas – a much better reason to be up all night. :) I mean it sucks that the little guy wasn’t happy – but I am just so thrilled at the chance to have this moment.
It’s true what they say – one can’t really know that the future has in store for you. Things change constantly. A year ago I was so down and disillusioned and this year I have a whole other person to take care of. It’s amazing and I am so grateful. We are a family. LOML & I were a family before, but this year our family has grown. Our love and commitment has grown with Jack’s arrival and I feel so blessed.
In celebration, LOML & I aren’t go off to some fancy dinner on our own like last year. This year we decided to go to our favorite Sushi Restaurant for Happy Hour with Jack. My MIL offered to baby-sit, but honestly we felt that Jack should be with us today. We spent the better half of our marriage trying to get pregnant so now that he is finally here I couldn’t imagine having him out with us to celebrate.
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Posted by Me
Tue, 06 Mar 2007 16:31:00 GMT
Thanks for the advice on my breastfeeding situation. Yes, I am definitely being careful about not pumping too much – as a matter of fact I am trying to stop pumping prior to feeding him altogether with the hope that my milk supply will adjust. It’s a bit tough right now since my boobs are just super engorged (we’re talking pornstar boobs here!) and Jack still has some trouble with the let-down. I have sought out www.kellymom.com for some good ole’ breastfeeding advice and their main thing is to let gravity be your friend (aka feed baby in an upright position or lean back so baby leans forward while feeding) and to burp baby very often.
I have to admit it’s been tough. Jack is still spitting up a lot and having trouble burping. I keep telling myself to be patient and hope that eventually we get the hang of this – in the meantime it’s all about the boobs in our house.
However, this line in the kellymom article caught my eye:
“Even if these measures do not completely solve the problem, many moms find that their abundant supply and fast let-down will subside, at least to some extent, by about 12 weeks (give or take a bit). At this point, hormonal changes occur that make milk supply more stable and more in line with the amount of milk that baby needs.”
Ahh, there it is that magical 12 Weeks (3 Month) Mark that everyone keeps raving about. Apparently, if you were to believe that Jack and I follow any “normal” processes – we are supposed to expect wonderful things once Jack turns 3 months. His sleep patterns are supposed to get into more of a rhythm. His digestive tract should be more mature. My milk is supposed to even out. I’ll have the body of Heidi Klum (post baby). (Ok, maybe not the last bit especially since I have a penchant for Krispe Kreme Doughnut which I am unwilling to give up in the near future!)
Hmm – color me skeptical but I just can’t see that it’ll work out that way. I mean I am sure things may change (at least I hope they will) but I just don’t see things “turning around”. I mean you’re talking to the girl who couldn’t for the life of her get pregnant the good ole’ fashion way. Normal IVF wasn’t even possible. I had to have a fresh IVF cycle follwed by a frozen one. Then, once I eventually did get pregnant I never had that moment at 12 Weeks where I woke up and felt great – no nausea. Nope. Nausea hung around for pretty much the whole pregnancy. So, with all that in my mind, can you blame a girl when she doesn’t quite believe in the magical 3 month mark?
I know every situation is different and if anything ours is certainly that. Nothing about Jack – his conception, gestation, or birth has been thus far and honestly right now I feel like I might be going backwards in my mothering abilities. I mean I thought we were doing ok on the breastfeeding front and then we discover the lovely “Hyperlactation/Overabundant Milk” issue. Ulgh!
It’s ok. Things are a bit tough right now. Jack is amazing – don’t get me wrong. He smiles all the time now. Coos. Gurgles. Squeals. Holds his head up a lot (still wobbly – but definitely showing promise). Super alert. Can stare at you and take you in. It’s incredible and I am so lucky to be a witness of it all. All my worries disappear when he gives me that look of complete adoration follwed by the most incredible smile. It melts my heart every time.
However, there is the other side of it too that is oh so challenging – he doesn’t sleep through the night. I am still waking up every 2 to 3 hours a night – sometimes more. I nurse what feels like constantly so that my nipples feel raw and abused. I am trying to get him on a schedule but haven’t been too successful at that. He doesn’t like sleeping in his crib. We try to put him in there with his “SnuggleNest” bed to help make it more cozy and he maybe lasts 15 mins in there before crying bloody murder. I don’t know – when does it get easier – yeah yeah I know – around 12 Weeks! Maybe! Possibly! Hopefully! ;)
I don’t know. Am I doing something wrong? It hurts me sometimes to see this little guy so gassy due to my insane let-down. I feel bad when I am patting him on the back for what feels like hours just to make sure he doesn’t get an awful air bubble in there.
I know it is supposed to get easier and I do want to believe that. I just can’t see it right now. I am trying not to compare myself to other mothers – you know the ones I am talking about – the ones that boast their babies are sleeping through the night with only one feeding at 3am in their cribs. The breastfeeding experts that have wonderfully calm and happy babies. I know everyone is different and that Jack and I will get the hang of things eventually. He’s still young and may take a little bit of time to adjust to things – like my boobs and his crib. It’s just tough sometimes not to feel like I am being a bad Mom. I love this guy to bits and just want to make sure he’s ok. Actually, more than ok.
Oh well – it’s time for him to nurse. I am doing the no-pump-nurse-upright-burp-often-nurse-on-only-one-boob-for-3-feedings thing with the hope that things will get better for everyone.
All right, I have written a novel that it is probably just incoherent babble. My apologies. Sleep-deprivation is still a staple in this house.
I pray that 12 Weeks will bring us some good things – however, as irony would have it – guess when Jack actually turns 12 Weeks? April 1st. Yes, my friends, that would be April Fool’s day – hmm – does that have some significance? We’ll see.
Ok – gotta’ whip out a boob to see if we can’t kick this “hyperlactation” to the curb. Thanks for listening! :)
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Posted by Me
Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:11:00 GMT
I have been meaning to update my blog for quite sometime, but taking care of Jack has been a full-time job and then some. The last couple of weeks have been a bit tough since he seems to be getting more fussy – especially at night. Sleeping has been a rarity and he still feeds anywhere from 1 hour to 2 1/2 hour intervals. Needless to say – my boobs are sure getting a workout.
Albeit things haven’t been super easy – Jack is wonderful. He’s so much more alert now that he is a month old. He had his 1 month check-up last Wednesday and he weighed in at 11 lbs and 1 oz! Wowzers! I guess my worry that I am feeding him enough was silly. Our Pediatrician told us to keep up the good work. Overall, she seemed very pleased with him. He is a very alert and as said gaining and growing accordingly. Besides his weight gain, he grew 2 inches. :) He is still a bit yellow but she wasn’t super concerned. We are supposed to have a follow-up Bilirubin test after 6 weeks if he is still a bit yellow – just to double-check.
So – yay! He is growing. He has the coolest facial expressions. It’s so much fun to watch. He is still the hardest baby to burb ever which makes my nights oh so much tougher. We tried the gas drops and I don’t think they do much of anything. :( I really hope Jack handles gas and all that much better as time goes on. Everyone keeps saying it’ll get better – easier. I sure hope so. LOML was a very challenging baby according to my MIL. I think Jack got a little bit of his dad in him when it comes to that regard. Oh well! All I can do is take it day by day.
I am still exclusively breastfeeding and I have my good and bad days when it comes to that. Sometimes his inability to burb properly makes it a little harder at times and attributes to my sleepless nights. LOML has been helping out a lot and it’s been great. I feel bad though since he still has a day job for which he has to be lucid and aware so overall I try to take the brunt of Jack’s wakeful hours. When I need a break, LOML steps in and helps out which I am eternally grateful for. :)
Last week my mom and dad were in town and it was soooooo great. They really helped out. They cooked us meals and held Jack so I could get some naps here and there. I really miss them and wish they lived closer (they live in Florida!) I hope they can come out again soon. It’s so great to see them with their grandson. :)
Anyways, I am trying to bang this post out before Jack squawks again which could be any minute. ;) He’s due for his bath tonight since he truly is a most of the time spit-up baby! Ahh, those digestive issues! I hope they pass soon as he gets older and things mature. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
In any case, I am going to try to jump in the shower real quick to help one of my boobs since I think I may have a clogged milk duct there and it’s hurting quite a bit!
So – yes, we are still alive – going through some rough spots right now as new parents but thrilled beyond belief to have this little guy in our lives. He’s incredible and so darn cute I can’t believe it! :) We are lucky to have him in our lives even if he keeps Mommy and Daddy from getting some sleep most of the time! He’s a miracle and we don’t forget it or take him for granted.
Ok – I am hearing a meltdown in progress – gotta’ go!
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Posted by Me
Sat, 20 Jan 2007 19:36:00 GMT
Here we are at the end of Week 2. Tomorrow Jack will be 2 weeks old. Wow, time sure flies by. :) Jack is doing well. He’s eating often and having a good number of wet and soiled diapers which helps me ascertain that my milk is getting to him. It’s amazing how much he is changing everyday. I mean I know people told me that the first few weeks are quite extraordinary in the way how they change. I believe he is getting a bit chubbier which makes his already chubby cheeks even fuller. He is having a few more “awake” hours where his eyes are wide open and exploring the world. He still sleeps a ton, but that is to be expected being that he is still itty bitty. :)
He still isn’t a fan of his bassinet so we ended up getting a co-sleeper/inclining sleep positioner thing for our bed to help transition him. We tried it out last night and he did pretty well. He only woke up for feedings every 2 to 2 1/2 hours or if he had a soiled diaper. It was nice not to have to sleep holding him in the recliner since though my Nursing Chair is pretty darn comfortable it is hard to really drift off in a reclined position. We’re hoping to get him used to the co-sleeper/sleep positioner, then slowly move it and him to the bassinet and once that works we’ll try the crib when he is a little older. We figure one day at a time and one step at a time. Hopefully, having the sleep positioner will help him feel more snug and get him more comfortable sleeping on his own.
Other than that, his color is looking better. He is less yellow/orange red which is a good thing. I think he is slowly pooping out the bilirubin and lowering his levels. He still has a slight yellow tint to him but it isn’t nearly as pronounced as it was a few days ago. Phew!
LOML & I are still adjusting to the limited sleep thing. Some days are better than others, but overall we are hanging in there and trying to figure out life after baby. We love, love getting to know this little guy and can’t believe that he is finally here. He is truly our little miracle and we are so grateful to have him in our lives after all that it has taken to create him. We hope that he continues to prosper and grow. My sister and her fiance are coming for a visit next week. That should be cool. My Mom and Dad are planning to come for another visit a week after that which should be nice since it’ll be a little longer than the last time they were here.
In any case, my heart is bursting with pride and joy as I am looking down at my lap where our son is taking a little nap while mommy updates her blog. I still can’t believe I am a mom. I never thought it would happen and now that it is here it is still taking some time to truly believe it. For so long, I only dreamed of this and most of the time was certain it would never happen. As I look at his sweet face in deep slumber, I am reminded by our journey and all that we’ve been through. As any infertile woman will attest that even if we manage to break through to the other side, our lives are forever changed by our experiences. I am not going to lie and say that these past 2 weeks have been a piece of cake. They haven’t. The no-sleep thing is something to get used to – getting a hang of the breastfeeding thing is a challenge and overall I am not entirely confident of my mothering abilities. However, no matter how tired I am or how challenging some days/nights might be – not one second do I ever forget how amazing I have it – how special this time is. I try my very best to acknowledge and experience each and every day. I can already see how quickly time flies and how quickly he changes. I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have waited for this chance for the longest time and now that it is here I do not want to take anything (least of all him!) for granted. I know I have been blessed and I promise to never forget it!
I am a Mommy and I know life will never be the same again! Thank goodness for that! :)
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