Posted by Me
Sat, 01 Jul 2006 16:24:00 GMT
Yesterday was u/s day. Yesterday was also my last appointment with my RE. It appears I have graduated. It’s so weird! Good, but weird.
Dr. BT made us wait for a while until he came into the room to “wand” me. However, once he did, he rattled of measurements quickly – Baby G has grown. S/he is actually a little bigger than expected measuring at 32.5mm. I am currently 9w6d today. When I asked if that was ok and if it meant anything, he just said “Oh yeah, it’s fine. Just means it’ll be a big baby!” :) Well, LOML was a good size baby so I guess Baby G may already be taken after his daddy. :)
In any case, the placenta is growing beautifully and the heartrate was a nice strong 182bpm. According to Dr. BT, that’s the highest we’d ever probably see the heartrate. We apparently caught Baby G during an “active” period. When Dr. BT was measuring him/her he said s/he was moving quite a bit.
It was amazing to see Baby G. S/he is still so small but is starting to look like a Baby. We saw the head. The rump. The umbilical cord and the little heart beating oh so fast. It was unbelievable.
Dr. BT said everything looked good. Asked how I was feeling. Told him I was feeling more sick lately and he said hopefully I should be past all that in about a week or two. We’ll see. He was surprised at my eating Almonds and said my eggs/bacon/toast/pickle/watermelon diet wasn’t too bad. The Almonds threw him off a little. I don’t think he personally likes Almonds. Also, let’s be clear. I don’t crave any of the aforementioned foods but know that I can stomach those. For some reason, the bacon settles my stomach like nothing else. It’s very weird. :)
Once he was done, he gave us a picture of Baby G to keep. It still hasn’t sunk in. He also asked us which OB/GYN we planned on going with. We asked for a recommendation and though we couldn’t find anyone on the list we brought from our insurance company, the lovely receptionist found a wonderful Doctor close to home. Apparently, he’s her Doctor as well. The office takes our insurance and though he technically didn’t take new patients until August, Dr. BT called on our behalf and as he put it “greased the wheel” for us. About an hour or so after the appointment, we got a call from the receptionist letting us know that Dr. BT worked his magic and got us an appointment with Dr. H for 7/10. :)
It’ll be sooooo weird to start with a new Doctor. To say I am slightly anxious is an understatement. I mean the whole goal was to “graduate” from Dr. BT and I really didn’t want to be held-back again – but now that it is reality it requires a bit of an adustment. I got used to the whole staff…spending the better part of my life over at Dr. BT’s office. The people know me. It’s weird to start new somewhere else. Dr. BT told us to come back and show off the big belly and definitely when the kid is born.
I hope everything continues to go well. Dr. BT is slowly weaning me off the meds. I have stopped all Progesterone Suppositories. Down to 1 Estrogen Tablet Twice a Day. I still take 2 Progesterone Pills 4 Times a Day. I go back tomorrow to Dr. BT’s office for a blood test to see how I am doing. I figure this will keep happening until I am completely weaned and ready to see Dr. H. The good thing is that Dr. BT knows Dr. H really well. He said he is the nicest man which brings me some comfort.
So, we shall see what will happen. According to Dr. BT, my miscarriage rate has dropped down to 1% to 2%. Baby B/C has been pretty much absorbed. All that is left is a small fluid sac next to Baby G. I know we are not out of the woods yet but I am grateful to have made it this far. I am still scared. I am still nervous, but trying to also relish this miracle I have been able to thus far experience. I know anything can still happen, but I also don’t want my fear of the unknown debilitate me.
Anyways, we’ll see what happens. For now, I am trying to take it easy and take it one day at a time. I hope for continued good news. Hope the weaning off meds won’t cause issues and my first OB/GYN appointment brings us even better news. I’ll be 11w1d by then. So, if you have some good growing vibes to spare – please sent them Baby G’s way. I want this one to stick and stay for the long haul. :)
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Posted by Me
Wed, 28 Jun 2006 00:28:37 GMT
I am still here. Alive. And seemingly still pregnant. These last few days have been a bit rough. The m/s seems to have kicked up a bit. Yesterday was particularly rough. I really couldn’t keep anything down. Today I have been nibbling and eating nonstop and avoiding food smells which seems to alert the gag reflex (sorry tmi). The only meals I seem to be ok with is eggs, bacon, and toast with a little bit of margerine. Breakfast goes off ok but the day gets more fragile as it continues on. Today’s lunch consisted of a soft pretzel, pickle, and bacon. Breakfast and dinner were scrambled eggs and toast. In between, I am munching on almonds and crackers and watermelon. Watermelon is good. I only had one rough moment right before lunch while I was trying to take care of dirty dishes. So now, LOML has been the designated dealer of foods and dirty dishes since they affect me so…and not in a good way.
In any case, I had a blood test today. It freaked me out a bit when the phone rang since the caller ID said “Private Call Number” and well that’s what it said when I got the bad call from Dr. BT last time. Actually, it always says that when I get a call from Dr. BT instead of the Nurse, but luckily it was the Nurse to give me my new meds instructions. I am to stop my Estrogen Patches tomorrow as well as reduce my Progesterone Suppositories to only once a day instead of twice a day. I keep all of my pills the same. I go back on Friday for another blood test and (potentially) my last Ultrasound with Dr. BT. I guess the weaning off the meds has begun. I am a little nervous about it, but I guess since he is re-checking me in 2 days I should be ok. Fingers Crossed!!!
This week is a bit nerve-racking. I mean with Friday’s appointment. Work going a bit crazy. My stomach being wobbly off and on since last week it’s all a bit much. I have to remember though that if all this means Baby G is hanging in there then so be it. I’ll take the icky feelings. I’ll take the puking. I just want this baby to stick. I pray it’s holding on and we get good news on Friday. I would like nothing more than to graduate from Dr. BT’s office. I mean I already feel like I have been “held back” a few times. It’s like each IVF Cycle is a class and I go through it – do all the homework etc – come to final exams I either barely pass or make it through only to find out at “graduation” that I am short a few credits and have to repeat a class. I don’t recognize anyone in the waiting room anymore. I am not sure if everyone passed or just gave up, but it’s tough. I have become known in the office and though there is some comfort in that – there is also some sadness. I don’t want to be “held back”. I want to graduate. I want to be on a new path. It’s scary, I’ll admit but I’ll take that over staying in my comfort zone.
I read somewhere once that courage is not the absence of fear or the opposite of it. Instead, it is moving forward in spite of being afraid. I am scared of what is to come but I guess I am looking at the ultimate goal and working my way through the potentials – the fear of disappointment – hoping I’ll get to the “goal”. I don’t know. I try to take it one day at a time. I made it through the blood test. Next up is the ultrasound. I hope it all goes well. I’ll be supernervous Thursday evening/Friday morning. I can’t even think about what might happen after the appointment – say moving on to a regular OB/GYN…leaving my comfort zone of the IVF World wherever everyone knows me and with whom I have spent more time in the last year than my own family. I can’t think about that yet. Too many “What if’s?” We’re at one day at a time stage. So with that in mind – one day down – 3 more to go. :) For now, I guess I am still pregnant.
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Posted by Me
Tue, 20 Jun 2006 19:36:00 GMT
So, I had my third ultrasound today. I was so nervous. I mean waiting in that room with nothing but a paper napkin to shield you – your mind just wonders and it drives you not. In any case, it took some time until Dr. BT showed up to do his thing. He had some good and bad news to tell us. Let’s lead with the good news.
Baby A is progressing and right on target. Measuring a little under an inch and had a nice strong heartbeat at 175. Apparently, Dr. BT was able to detect some fetal movement and overall Baby A was doing all right.
Now, for the bad news, Baby B didn’t develop at all. No fetal pole or heartbeat. The sac was so much smaller than Baby A’s. Apparently, Dr. BT was able to see what exactly happen. Our second embryo did apparently split since Baby B’s sac was divided into 2 sacs. However, as said, no development occured and hence we are to expect Baby B’s sac to disintegrate in the next few months. It hopefully shouldn’t affect Baby A, but there are no guarantees. A twin can disappear quite often – it’s what they call the “Vanishing Twin” syndrome.
It was sad to hear that Baby B won’t make it, but LOML and I were also not suprised either. Last u/s he/she was really behind and the heartbeat was quite slow. So, when we saw today’s u/s screen and saw how much smaller the sac was we knew the answer.
So, now we are down to one! God, I hope Baby A can hang on. Twins would have been lovely, but I’ll take one beautiful healthy baby. I pray and hope that Baby A hangs on. So far he/she is doing ok. We have another ultrasound in a week and a half (6/30). That will also be the last ultrasound I’ll have with Dr. BT. If all is well with that one, he’ll release me to a regular OB/GYN. So, we’ll see. Next ultrasound will be a big one. He said if all looks good that time my chances of miscarrying this one would go down to 1% to 2%. So, we shall see.
It’s been a rollercoaster few weeks. Singleton – Twins – Back to Singleton. I hope that next week we get some good news in regards to Baby A…well I guess we can go back to Baby G now that there is only one.
I am tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night – my mind has been pre-occupied. Anyways, I won’t have time to rest quite yet – loads of work to do.
I am grateful to have made it to another step – past another step. I am sad about Baby B and the possibility that is lost there. It’s weird that we actually “lost” 2 potential babies since our second embryo split and all. But I am focusing on Baby G (also known as Baby A) now. I hope that he/she just keeps growing and progressing. I don’t want to lose this one. I know I am still at risk – esp now that I lost the other one.
Please send us some good growth vibes for the next few weeks. We sure could use them.
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Posted by Me
Thu, 15 Jun 2006 15:26:00 GMT
The Wait between ultrasounds can be excruciating. I know it’ll only be a week tomorrow since I had my last one – but since the next one isn’t scheduled until Tuesday I am left to my own devices until then! I’ll be 7w5d tomorrow.
I haven’t posted much since I really don’t have any news to give and really how often do I want to subject my dear readers to my irrational paranoid thoughts? As a whole, I am doing ok I guess. Still on progesterone suppositories. Still praying & hoping that my babies are alive and growing. I know I have no reason to believe otherwise, but when you don’t have any other signs of assurance other than blood tests and ultrasounds you feel out of sorts. I know I can’t control the outcome of any of this. Ultimately, it comes down to – if these kids are meant to be – they will. I know that. I just don’t know what to do with those moments when I freak out – cuz I am cramping again – or not cramping. Or the moments I feel nauseaus but then the next when I don’t feel even a little bout of sickness. It’s all so weird.
I know my “freak-outs” are normal. I go lurk on the “Pregnant after IVF” boards and reassure myself that my feelings are entirely normal. I know my worrying isn’t out of the ordinary – it doesn’t make it any less annoying but at least I am not the only worrying wart out there. I know there is no reason to believe that I am due for another miscarriage and I really should avoid reading about those stories on the boards where the woman got to see/hear the heartbeat on 3 separate occasions only to be devastated by the 4th when no heartbeat was found. I know that can happen, but it does not mean it’ll happen to me, right? Right! I also will go on more than one occasion approach LOML and ask him if he thinks I am still pregnant. He just smiles and assures me that I am … how he knows that I am not sure, but it does make me feel better for at least the next few minutes. ;)
Sigh, I want to say I am enjoying being pregnant right now, but I can’t say that I am. I am grateful and happy to have come this far but I am still worried. I mean as a whole I am really trying – that should count for something, right? The truth of the matter though is that I am just not comfortable yet. I may not be until I make it past that first trimester mark.
I haven’t been looking for “Signs” since really with all the meds I am on I can’t trust anything my body is giving off. I mean the last few days (which may also be a reason for why I have been so neglectful of my blog) I have had some “nauseaus” days. Never got to the point of actually throwing up, but got close there for a moment. I am not sure if some could of that could have been compounded by my anxiety or what but eating was a challenge there for a while, especially in the afternoon. I usually felt ok in the morning, but after lunch started to feel my stomach going all sorts of wobbly and nothing sounded appetizing. I switched to sparkled water from falt since I couldn’t really drink regular water without feeling sick. It seems to have leveled off these past 2 days. I don’t seem to get as sick to my stomach (and yes, I was alerted for a moment thinkng something bad happened – because really what else would I think?) and am able to eat with more voracity. Sometimes I wish my babies would give me a clue that they are still in there and growing. How nice would it be if they could just let me know that they plan to stick it out? I mean that would be most lovely.
Oh well – Tuesday will hopefully come soon enough and we get another bout of good news. I should be 8w2d by then. In the meantime, I’ll try to stay calm and “enjoy” this part. I feel bad not being able to relax completely. I know I should but it’s not easy. I’ll continue to try though and really that’s all I can do. Pray that Baby A & Baby B are healthy and growing as they should.
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Posted by Me
Fri, 09 Jun 2006 19:24:00 GMT
... 2 Babies! Yes, I had my ultrasound today and per Bekah’s request I am taking a longer lunch break to get a quick post up to update you all. :)
So, yes, ladies and gentlemen, when Dr. BT did the ultrasound the morning we saw 2 sacs! 2!!! At first, he saw 3 and said so and I was like “What?” LOML looked like he was a deer caught in headlights. I mean 3!
We were expecting to see Baby G just grown etc with a heartbeat instead imagine our surprise when we saw 2 (possible 3!) sacs. Dr. BT looked at the chart and spent a long time measuring things on the screen to make sure there were indeed 3. In the end, he said the second sac was pinched but there was only one yolk sac in there and one heartbeat. Phew!!! Twins is a shock after only expecting a singleton but triplets – yowzers I don’t know I was about to freak a little – LOML might have passed out! JK ;) He’d be fine – but said later he was thinking we don’t have enough arms to hold them all! 2 was feasible!
Dr. BT spent some time measuring and evaluating Baby A (now that we may have 2 in there we will have to change “Baby G” to “Baby A” & “Baby B”). So, anyways Baby A is measuring at around 8mm (or about a third of an inch) with a heartbeat going at a rate of 122 bpm. Is that good? I don’t know what they are supposed to be at. I am 6w5d. Dr. BT said that that was good and Baby A was measuring and progressing right on target so I’ll put my skeptical nature to the side for now and trust him. I googled heart rates a bit and it came up with 137 for 6 weeks – is that right? Ok, going to stop now! Dr. BT said Baby A was good so we’re going to go with that. Baby A is definitely bigger than Baby B. The yolk sac was very distinguishable and the heartbeat was flickering away. Dr BT said there was a fetal pole though honestly I couldn’t see it.
Baby B is slightly smaller. About 4 days behind in development. I don’t remember the length but the heart rate was a slow 97 bpm. He said that was to be expected though since Baby B seems to be 4 days behind and probably was a late implanter. Hopefully, he or she will catch up by the next ultrasound which is scheduled for 6/20.
So, we are in a bit of shock over here. I mean we thought we were evaluating a singleton’s progression – instead we discovered we may be having twins if Baby B can hang on. Only time will tell I guess. We are psyched though to have made it to another step. We never made it this far before so I am grateful. I hope we continue to get good news in a week and half and Baby A & Baby B decide to stick around and let us be their parents.
For today, I am going to stop perusing the Internet Boards and just enjoy the news we got. As of right now, I am expecting twins! OMG! I am in shock! A good kind of shock but still it’s hard to believe! Thanks for everyone’s well wishes and I’ll write more once all of this has sunk in! :)
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