Posted by Me
Sat, 13 May 2006 01:26:00 GMT
So, today was transfer day. All went according to plan and most importantly on time. Though I still didn’t get the water drinking thing right and even had to go to the bathroom to release a little a couple of times before, all went ok. I wasn’t in tremendous pain during the actual transfer part, but needed a bedpan right after the procedure nonetheless.
In any case, our 2 embryos successfully made it through thaw and subsequently transfer. Dr. BT and the Embryologist R. even exclaimed that they were “georgous”. Post thaw – they apparently looked just as they did when they were frozen a few months ago…so all is good I guess. Dr. BT assured us that the transfer couldn’t have gone any better. He bid us “Good Luck’ and said he’ll see us next week. :)
As I previously planned, I chilled for an hour in the recovery room listening to some Jason Mraz on my iPod and read a book. The time flew by in no time. We made it home safely and I have been laid up in bed ever since. My tummy is a bit crampy which is uncomfortable but hopefully doesn’t mean anything negative.
Well, that’s all I have to report. We told Dr. BT we won’t be making one of the blood tests (there are 3 scheduled before the big pregnancy test) since we’ll be out of town and he was cool with it. He said he’ll just keep us on the same dosages and see us back for the big test – the pregnancy test – 5/22 – day before my 30th Birthday! Yowzers!!!! Either way though we get to go on our trip so yay!!! :) I am psyched. Something to distract me.
I am tired and trying to stay all calm. I am drinking loads of water and even enjoyed some fresh pineapple juice which may help with implantantion. As with the other cycles, now we wait. Wait – wait – wait! :) Keep your fingers crossed and think of some good implantation thoughts! We could sure use all the positive thinking!
All righty, I am tired! Not sure why – but I am! Have a good night everyone!
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Dr. Bow Tie, Musical Interludes | 1 comment | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Thu, 16 Feb 2006 23:59:00 GMT
And no, I am not talking about those “infamous blue pills”. The little blue pills I am referring to are my Estrace Pills (Estrogen Pills). Technically, they are more of a lavender. That’s neither here nor there! The main point I was trying to get to is that I started taking them today! Woohoo! More meds to add to my regiment. LOML keeps asking me if I feel any different. So far so good. I am not any more emotional than I am already. I have been too busy with work to be tired so I can’t really tell you. Ask me again in a week. :) I am sure by then they’ll have made an impact into my emotional fragile being.
I swear the emotional rollercoaster is the hardest thing about this whole IVF thing. I have been off the Progesterone Pills for a week now and I am feeling semi-normal again! Phew!!! Of course, that feeling will be short-lived since I’ll be on the Progesterone Oil Injections in no time. The Progesterone really affects me strongly. I get so depressed and am an emotional wreck. I jump from being intensely angry to uncontrollably sad in a matter of seconds. (Okay, maybe it’s more like in a matter of minutes – but again details. Details! Who really cares?)
Anyways, I should be working. Too much to do. Too little time. I have a meeting in a little bit. My third one today. Wooohoo! I can’t wait. While I wait, I figured I’d write a quick little post about what’s going on. As you can tell, not much. I am listening to my boy, Jason Mraz. LOVE HIM! Such an awesome voice and the fact that he is easy on the eyes sure doesn’t hurt! ;) I felt bad though earlier to read on his Website that he and his girlfriend, singer/songwriter, Tristan Prettyman seem to have broken up. Too bad. I thought they were really cute together. She’s really great too! Lovely voice and pretty to boot! Being on emotional overload anyways these days, I was saddened to hear about their break-up. I am sure all the teeny boppers out there are happy though and they can once again resume their fantasies to actually end up with him! (or her – whatever rocks your boat!) :)
Celebrity coveting is funny to me. I mean I am like any other girl. I will admit that there are a lot of cute celebs out there and I have spent hours gushing to my best friend about how Ryan Gosling is just so darn cute in the Notebook or how Patrick Dempsey’s smile on Grey’s Anatomy just makes you melt, but even when I was little I was way too rational and realistic to ever believe that I had a chance with any of my celeb crushes. I never understood those girls that had tears streaming down their faces at the mere sight of their celeb crushes in concert. What were they crying about? And even so do they think that a tear-stained face is really the most attractive sight when being face to face with their crush du jour? I guess it’s just all that emotion breaking through. Maybe if I go to a concert while on my cocktail of meds I’ll be one of the criers too! Note to self – avoid all concerts while on Progesterone! I do not want to add that to my list of experiences. Especially, considering I am not always emotional, sometimes I am just steaming mad and really I do not want to assault my celeb crush for any reason at all! That would just be wrong! No, seriously, I think it is cool that some people can feel so strongly about something or someone and let their guard down. I tend to like to control my emotions in public. Privately, I have no problem letting go. I mean just last week I was huddled on the bed crying bitterly for no reason other than I was sad. Sad. So sad. Crying about everything and nothing at all. Damn, that progesterone!!! I hate how it reduces me to an uncontrollable and inconsolable mess. However, if it does the magic trick to get me knocked and stay knocked up, I say bring it on, baby! Give it to me in heaps! I’ll endure my “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” persona if it gets me pregnant and allows me to stay pregnant.
Life is funny and crazy. Crazier when you are on fertility meds, but alas such is life. My goal these days is to take it all in stride. We shall see how I am doing in a few weeks when I am in the thick of it. Yowzers!
Okay, meeting time. Later!
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Dr. Bow Tie, Musical Interludes | no comments | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Thu, 26 Jan 2006 23:39:00 GMT
I am on Day 9 of Stims and boy am I tired! YAWN!!!!!
All the build-up of hormones, work it requires to grow my follies are getting to me. I feel like napping, but there is work to be done so no rest for the weary. My ovaries twitch every once a while which is totally freaky by the way. My lower back is starting to hurt, but I think that is a result of my bad sitting posture! Ahh well, I might as well blame the hormones too. That’s what they are there for. :)
Tomorrow we go in for another bloodtest and follie check. We shall see if it’ll be go time or if Dr BT is going to push another day. We shall see. Isn’t the suspense killing you? I am sitting here twiddling my thumbs! (Okay, not really. That would require way too much energy. Energy I really don’t have!)
In other news, our new office desks were delivered this afternoon. They are still in boxes out in the hallway. One of these days LOML will take some time and set them all up. Kind of exciting to have the office all newly set-up. Hopefully, we get it up and running soon! Later today, we might make a run to Lowe’s and check out some shelves to install on the walls. I hope they’ll help me to stay more organized and neat. We shall see!
On a work co-habitation front, LOML and I are still playing nice. It’s been amusing. Though we are the only humans in the room, we both usually have headphones on and if we need to convey messages we chat each other! What dorky geeks are we? We can’t even bother to talk to each other. LOL I guess my reasoning is that I have quick little comments which don’t need to be discussed. A quick chat does the trick without making a big to-do about it! We’re weird. Weird internet geeks! LOL Whatever it works for us! And it’s not like we don’t talk to each other at all. We do – just on occasion chat is just a lot simpler and more efficient. (I have no idea why I feel the need to defend our actions so much. I guess it’s just lazy on our part! LOL)
It’s Thursday. It so feels like it should be Friday. Not that weekends feel any different these days. We usually just work. I should be handling some of the household chores, but I hate them so and can’t imagine whatever freetime I have to do them, but do I must. I want a clean house. I just hate the process it takes to get there. Ahh well, we shall see how I feel this weekend. With the packed ovaries, I doubt I’ll get much done. I’d probably fall asleep mid-toilet scrubbing! Not a good thing! ;) (I know excuses, excuses! ;))
Anyways, I should get back to the “Schematic-o”, the lovely project I am working on now. Updating a whole bunch schematics for a client of mine. It is so much fun I can’t contain myself! ;p Nah, it’s all right. I am listening to Michael Buble’s velvety voice and sipping on a yummy Thai Tea Boba! Sun is shining. A nice breeze occasionally makes it into our hot little office (Hot due to all the comps LOML and I have accumulated throughout the years!)
Life is good.
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Dr. Bow Tie, Musical Interludes, Everyday Livin' | no comments | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:05:00 GMT
With the holidays right around the corner, I have to admit I am feeling kind of like the Grinch this year. There are no X-mas decorations anywhere in the house (inside or out).
We bought a beautiful X-mas Tree last year and it is still sitting in its box in the garage. I have no idea when I’ll put it up. Part of the problem, I am just not in the holiday spirit. I really thought I’d be pregnant by this X-mas. I had this pathetic vision of myself glowing, patting my belly, with a grin from ear to ear since the IVF worked and I’d be with child this X-mas. No such luck. The only reason I am patting my belly these days is to be cognizant of the extra pounds I gained from all the Fertility Drugs. Lovely. Nothing says “Happy Holidays” like another pair of jeans that don’t fit anymore. Ulgh!
Honestly, I am just hoping to survive the holidays this year. I have no gung-ho-mistletoe-hanging-spirit in me this year. I am not pregnant. I am infertile and next year I’ll be starting it off with another intense IVF cycle. The thought makes me cringe. To top it off, I just found out an ex-coworker of mine is pregnant. She just got married last year. I am happy for her, but it makes me sad. Mad. I am SMAD! Why her? Not me? It was supposed to be me.
Wow, this entry it turning out to be a lot more negative than I originally intended it to be, but I guess you don’t always know where your words lead you? I am better than I was since the failed IVF attempt, but I guess still have occasional relapses. The impending holidays don’t make any of it easier. Actually, it is harder—all the family gatherings…all the happy children…all the questions about me and my infertility. I just want to crawl into a cave and come out when it is all over. That’s wrong, huh? I know it is. I have to buck up and face the music. It just sucks sometime how much of my life is ruled by infertility and now that my in-laws know about our plight I feel like it is all that I have become. I spent this Thanksgiving talking about my “issues”. I felt exhausted after the event. Sad in some ways. It’s exhausting talking about infertility and they are not the audience to which I can use my sarcastic humor. My MIL thanked me for sharing since this is clearly the biggest thing going on in my life. Yes, it is and God do I hate that it is. I don’t want this to be my “thing”. My hobby. My focus. It’s a horrible thing to be dealing with.
My LOML asked me what I wanted for X-mas and I told him nothing since I feel so incredibly guilty for the $15,000 IVF Cycle in Jan/Feb of next year. I am already costing us so much. I know it isn’t a present for me since honestly it’ll be a pain, but for me to have the ultimate gift it is one of my only shots. This December is just another month. I will sign and send my X-mas Cards, wishing once again so dearly that I could send one of those Photo Cards displaying my happy brood…but I am not there yet. I didn’t get to be that lucky.
I know holidays are supposed to be happy, but I am not sure how I can get into the spirit. I am a Grinch. Instead I am working on some stuff, avoiding anything holiday related, and listening to James Blunt’s tunes.
Pass me the Peppermint Mocha, please!
Posted in Musical Interludes, 'Tis The Season, Hello, my name is Infertile | 2 comments | no trackbacks
