Posted by Me
Fri, 08 Jun 2007 04:13:00 GMT
So sorry I haven’t posted sooner. Life has been a bit hectic these past few months. Here is a quick rundown of the going- on’s:
- Milk Blisters – What a Pain! Ouch!
- Diagnosis of Thrush – Double Ouch!!! Wait, make that triple Ouch!!!
- Jack and his purple mouth due Gentian Violet to get rid of Thrush – Staining pretty much everything in sight
- Me on 2 different ointments and Diflucan to combat Thrush oh and of course wincing every time Jack was nursing on my stinging nipples!
- Prepping House to Sell
- Keeping House clean for showing (not an easy task when you have a 3 month old!)
- Packing up House when offer was rendered and accepted
- Moving to Rental House while breathlessly awaiting completion of new house (won’t be ready until Aug/Sept)
- Battling Jack’s refusal to nap or in general sleep much if at all
- Enduring Jack’s blood curdling fits while being strapped into his car seat (he used to love his carseat – now not so much! LOML invested in ear plugs to make sure concentration is not compromised behind the wheel while Jack is exercising his very powerful lungs)
- Jack’s constant slobbering since he is starting to teethe and well pools of drools come with that!
The list could go on and on, but I figure you get the jist. Yes, the last few months have been a bit hectic. The move in and of itself was a major stressor. The fact that it will have to be repeated in a few months again is already giving me a headache but oh well we’ll deal.
The thrush I think is gone but man-o-man was that a pain – literally and figuratively. This Breastfeeding thing has just not been an easy road for me. I am determined to stick with it, but boy it’s been tough!
Overally though Jack is great. As cute as can be. Wish he’d sleep better or more but the fact that he is smiling a lot, likes to play with his hair, grab at more things, is learning to sit up by himself, babbles constantly – makes it all ok. He’s our little guy who is growing like a weed. He is still as alert as can be which can make feeding still a challenge since he’ll get so distracted. He’s taking everything in and loves to jump in his jumperoo. He’s become the master bouncer. We recently introduced him to the exersaucer and he’s getting the hang of it. I think though he gets frustrated since he can’t get a hold of the things he wants quite yet.
So, life is chugging along. Busy but good. I am sorry I have been so MIA. That has not been my intention – just with everything going on it is sometimes hard to find a few moments available to post. Jack likes a lot of attention so blog posting ends up being pushed to the back burner. I’ll try to be better about it and steal a few moments here and there.
Here is a link to Jack’s latest and greatest! Enjoy!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mjg2/sets/72157600279678380/
Hope everyone is doing well!
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Posted by Me
Wed, 28 Mar 2007 16:22:00 GMT
Today is our anniversary. Three years ago today LOML & I exchanged our vows. :) I can’t believe it’s already been 3 years! We’ve known each other for 9 years total. Dated for 3 years. Engaged for one and as said married for 3 years.
This year however marks another thing – we’ve been parents for almost 3 months now. :) How exciting is that? I still can’t believe it.
Yesterday while I was holding little Jack after his evening feeding I remembered the day a year ago. Though our marriage was strong even then it was a tough day. We had found out a week or so earlier that our fetus stopped growing and Dr. BT told me to expect me to miscarry any day now. Of course, I started to bleed on our anniversary in the most vicious and painful way. I remember we went out to a nice Japanese Dinner and then off to see the Cirque de Soleil Show “Ka” at the MGM. The show was great – our seats right in the center. All was well until about the last half hour when the cramps started to get stronger and stronger. All I could think of was let this show end so I can get out of here. The pain was excruciating – both physically and emotionally. I remember feeling so sad and in some hopeless that my pregnancy was not to be after 5.5 weeks. We had been so thrilled to hear that we got pregnant (finally!) after our second IVF Try. However, it wasn’t meant to be. Our second anniversary was bittersweet. LOML & I tried to make the best of the day knowing that despite everything our commitment to each other was as strong and solid as ever even if infertility was challenging us more than we had ever imagined.
A year ago today was a tough day I won’t deny it. However, fast forward one and I can’t believe how things have changed. This year we are celebrating not just 3 years of marriage but also the presence of our son, Jack! A year ago I spent a sleepless night worried about the fact that we may never have a baby of our own. Bent over in pain while my body was expelling our fetus. This year I still spent the night awake but for very different reasons. This year I was awake to keep Jack company as he was battling some annoying gas – a much better reason to be up all night. :) I mean it sucks that the little guy wasn’t happy – but I am just so thrilled at the chance to have this moment.
It’s true what they say – one can’t really know that the future has in store for you. Things change constantly. A year ago I was so down and disillusioned and this year I have a whole other person to take care of. It’s amazing and I am so grateful. We are a family. LOML & I were a family before, but this year our family has grown. Our love and commitment has grown with Jack’s arrival and I feel so blessed.
In celebration, LOML & I aren’t go off to some fancy dinner on our own like last year. This year we decided to go to our favorite Sushi Restaurant for Happy Hour with Jack. My MIL offered to baby-sit, but honestly we felt that Jack should be with us today. We spent the better half of our marriage trying to get pregnant so now that he is finally here I couldn’t imagine having him out with us to celebrate.
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Posted by Me
Tue, 06 Mar 2007 16:31:00 GMT
Thanks for the advice on my breastfeeding situation. Yes, I am definitely being careful about not pumping too much – as a matter of fact I am trying to stop pumping prior to feeding him altogether with the hope that my milk supply will adjust. It’s a bit tough right now since my boobs are just super engorged (we’re talking pornstar boobs here!) and Jack still has some trouble with the let-down. I have sought out www.kellymom.com for some good ole’ breastfeeding advice and their main thing is to let gravity be your friend (aka feed baby in an upright position or lean back so baby leans forward while feeding) and to burp baby very often.
I have to admit it’s been tough. Jack is still spitting up a lot and having trouble burping. I keep telling myself to be patient and hope that eventually we get the hang of this – in the meantime it’s all about the boobs in our house.
However, this line in the kellymom article caught my eye:
“Even if these measures do not completely solve the problem, many moms find that their abundant supply and fast let-down will subside, at least to some extent, by about 12 weeks (give or take a bit). At this point, hormonal changes occur that make milk supply more stable and more in line with the amount of milk that baby needs.”
Ahh, there it is that magical 12 Weeks (3 Month) Mark that everyone keeps raving about. Apparently, if you were to believe that Jack and I follow any “normal” processes – we are supposed to expect wonderful things once Jack turns 3 months. His sleep patterns are supposed to get into more of a rhythm. His digestive tract should be more mature. My milk is supposed to even out. I’ll have the body of Heidi Klum (post baby). (Ok, maybe not the last bit especially since I have a penchant for Krispe Kreme Doughnut which I am unwilling to give up in the near future!)
Hmm – color me skeptical but I just can’t see that it’ll work out that way. I mean I am sure things may change (at least I hope they will) but I just don’t see things “turning around”. I mean you’re talking to the girl who couldn’t for the life of her get pregnant the good ole’ fashion way. Normal IVF wasn’t even possible. I had to have a fresh IVF cycle follwed by a frozen one. Then, once I eventually did get pregnant I never had that moment at 12 Weeks where I woke up and felt great – no nausea. Nope. Nausea hung around for pretty much the whole pregnancy. So, with all that in my mind, can you blame a girl when she doesn’t quite believe in the magical 3 month mark?
I know every situation is different and if anything ours is certainly that. Nothing about Jack – his conception, gestation, or birth has been thus far and honestly right now I feel like I might be going backwards in my mothering abilities. I mean I thought we were doing ok on the breastfeeding front and then we discover the lovely “Hyperlactation/Overabundant Milk” issue. Ulgh!
It’s ok. Things are a bit tough right now. Jack is amazing – don’t get me wrong. He smiles all the time now. Coos. Gurgles. Squeals. Holds his head up a lot (still wobbly – but definitely showing promise). Super alert. Can stare at you and take you in. It’s incredible and I am so lucky to be a witness of it all. All my worries disappear when he gives me that look of complete adoration follwed by the most incredible smile. It melts my heart every time.
However, there is the other side of it too that is oh so challenging – he doesn’t sleep through the night. I am still waking up every 2 to 3 hours a night – sometimes more. I nurse what feels like constantly so that my nipples feel raw and abused. I am trying to get him on a schedule but haven’t been too successful at that. He doesn’t like sleeping in his crib. We try to put him in there with his “SnuggleNest” bed to help make it more cozy and he maybe lasts 15 mins in there before crying bloody murder. I don’t know – when does it get easier – yeah yeah I know – around 12 Weeks! Maybe! Possibly! Hopefully! ;)
I don’t know. Am I doing something wrong? It hurts me sometimes to see this little guy so gassy due to my insane let-down. I feel bad when I am patting him on the back for what feels like hours just to make sure he doesn’t get an awful air bubble in there.
I know it is supposed to get easier and I do want to believe that. I just can’t see it right now. I am trying not to compare myself to other mothers – you know the ones I am talking about – the ones that boast their babies are sleeping through the night with only one feeding at 3am in their cribs. The breastfeeding experts that have wonderfully calm and happy babies. I know everyone is different and that Jack and I will get the hang of things eventually. He’s still young and may take a little bit of time to adjust to things – like my boobs and his crib. It’s just tough sometimes not to feel like I am being a bad Mom. I love this guy to bits and just want to make sure he’s ok. Actually, more than ok.
Oh well – it’s time for him to nurse. I am doing the no-pump-nurse-upright-burp-often-nurse-on-only-one-boob-for-3-feedings thing with the hope that things will get better for everyone.
All right, I have written a novel that it is probably just incoherent babble. My apologies. Sleep-deprivation is still a staple in this house.
I pray that 12 Weeks will bring us some good things – however, as irony would have it – guess when Jack actually turns 12 Weeks? April 1st. Yes, my friends, that would be April Fool’s day – hmm – does that have some significance? We’ll see.
Ok – gotta’ whip out a boob to see if we can’t kick this “hyperlactation” to the curb. Thanks for listening! :)
Posted in Hello, my name is Infertile, Everyday Livin', Relating, Baby G | 1 comment | no trackbacks
Posted by Me
Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:11:00 GMT
I have been meaning to update my blog for quite sometime, but taking care of Jack has been a full-time job and then some. The last couple of weeks have been a bit tough since he seems to be getting more fussy – especially at night. Sleeping has been a rarity and he still feeds anywhere from 1 hour to 2 1/2 hour intervals. Needless to say – my boobs are sure getting a workout.
Albeit things haven’t been super easy – Jack is wonderful. He’s so much more alert now that he is a month old. He had his 1 month check-up last Wednesday and he weighed in at 11 lbs and 1 oz! Wowzers! I guess my worry that I am feeding him enough was silly. Our Pediatrician told us to keep up the good work. Overall, she seemed very pleased with him. He is a very alert and as said gaining and growing accordingly. Besides his weight gain, he grew 2 inches. :) He is still a bit yellow but she wasn’t super concerned. We are supposed to have a follow-up Bilirubin test after 6 weeks if he is still a bit yellow – just to double-check.
So – yay! He is growing. He has the coolest facial expressions. It’s so much fun to watch. He is still the hardest baby to burb ever which makes my nights oh so much tougher. We tried the gas drops and I don’t think they do much of anything. :( I really hope Jack handles gas and all that much better as time goes on. Everyone keeps saying it’ll get better – easier. I sure hope so. LOML was a very challenging baby according to my MIL. I think Jack got a little bit of his dad in him when it comes to that regard. Oh well! All I can do is take it day by day.
I am still exclusively breastfeeding and I have my good and bad days when it comes to that. Sometimes his inability to burb properly makes it a little harder at times and attributes to my sleepless nights. LOML has been helping out a lot and it’s been great. I feel bad though since he still has a day job for which he has to be lucid and aware so overall I try to take the brunt of Jack’s wakeful hours. When I need a break, LOML steps in and helps out which I am eternally grateful for. :)
Last week my mom and dad were in town and it was soooooo great. They really helped out. They cooked us meals and held Jack so I could get some naps here and there. I really miss them and wish they lived closer (they live in Florida!) I hope they can come out again soon. It’s so great to see them with their grandson. :)
Anyways, I am trying to bang this post out before Jack squawks again which could be any minute. ;) He’s due for his bath tonight since he truly is a most of the time spit-up baby! Ahh, those digestive issues! I hope they pass soon as he gets older and things mature. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
In any case, I am going to try to jump in the shower real quick to help one of my boobs since I think I may have a clogged milk duct there and it’s hurting quite a bit!
So – yes, we are still alive – going through some rough spots right now as new parents but thrilled beyond belief to have this little guy in our lives. He’s incredible and so darn cute I can’t believe it! :) We are lucky to have him in our lives even if he keeps Mommy and Daddy from getting some sleep most of the time! He’s a miracle and we don’t forget it or take him for granted.
Ok – I am hearing a meltdown in progress – gotta’ go!
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Posted by Me
Tue, 16 Jan 2007 16:45:00 GMT
Thanks so much for all the congratulatory comments! :) I can’t believe my little guy is already 9 days old. The last week just whizzed by though with the whole limited sleep thing all the days have blended into one long stretch.
Sleep is still hard to come by but we are managing. Jack is still not a big fan of being left in the bassinette alone so that’s made the evenings a big challenging. We are hoping to work on that in the next few days. Right now, I am writing this post as he is sleeping peacefully in my arms.
The last week also has been a bit rough since when we saw our pediatrician she noted that he lost quite a bit of weight – he went from 7 lbs 14 oz to 7 lbs at the first visit. However, that day I had just gotten my milk in and since I was trying to breastfeed exclusively I guess he didn’t get enough to eat. Our pediatrician instructed me to breastfeed as much as I could to see if his weight gain improved. In addition to the significant drop in weight, Jack was also a bit yellow which can be a result of losing too much weight and being born early. We had a few bilirubin tests done to see his levels and only got the news yesterday that his levels seem to be on the downward slope. It helps that he has been feeding well and pooping/peeing well. Our Doctor said that he should be out of the woods, but to keep an eye on him. If we see him suddenly turn more yellow/orange, have a decrease in appetite, and/or decrease in peeing/pooping to bring him back in for a check-up. So far I think he is doing ok. He is due for another feeding soon which will hopefully yield a poopy diaper. I swear I haven’t been so excited about seeing poopy diapers than I have in the last few days. Welcome to Motherhood, I guess! ;)
Yesterday, we went in for our weekly check-up and his circumcision. The check-up went well. He has gained back his birth weight and is back at 7 lbs and 14 oz (Yay!). The circumcision went as well as could be expected. LOML was with him in the room. Jack was understandably upset – I mean who wouldn’t be. However, after nursing him at home and making him comfy he was able to slip into a nice sweet slumber.
LOML & I are adjusting. We consider ourselves so lucky to have this little guy home. He’s incredible. I can just sit there with him in my arms and stare at him for hours. At times, I still have to pinch myself to truly believe that our little miracle is home and hopefully on the mend. I was quite worried there for a while when I heard about his weight loss and jaundice, but hopefully we are slowly moving all passed that. :)
In any case, we are getting to know this little fellow and love him so much. Though it has only been a week since he made his arrival, I can’t imagine our lives without him.
As far as I am concerned, I am doing well. I still feel a bit poofy which you can see from the pictures. I had some serious swelling in my ankles and hands last week, but that has subsided. I know I am still retaining more fluid that I should but hopefully that will pass soon. Besides being a bit more tired, I can’t complain. I am a Mom. Jack is home with us and I couldn’t be happier. LOML has been amazing. A true hands on Dad and I know Jack & I are lucky to have him around. I swear he’s better than me when it comes to diaper changing. :)
I am sorry if this post is still a little all over the place. I guess not sleeping much for 9 days can take its toll. I hope that in a few more weeks we get a better handle on things. I know it takes some time to adjust and adjust we will. For now, we are just taking it one day at a time and making sure we get to know our son and ensure he has everything he needs to grow and be healthy.
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